Happy 25th Birthday, Brandon, my son, my Angel / Mom Read >>
Happy 25th Birthday, Brandon, my son, my Angel / Mom
BRANDON
#25
Happy Birthday Angel
25 years ago was one of the happiest days of my life...I became your mom. What an amazing experience. You were so beautiful, so cuddly. Fast forward 25 years and I sit here at my computer, thinking back to that day and smiling through my tears. Oh, how I miss you, Angel. No one knows how much. I miss your weekly and sometimes daily phone calls. I miss your teasing me about my cooking, I miss your silliness, I miss your tenderness. I just miss you!!!
I know that this grieving thing is a process but I honestly thought I had a hold on it but I guess I don't. This past year has been especially tough on me and I really don't know why except to think that perhaps I tried to keep myself busy, too busy, to really feel the pain and I just couldn't keep up the pace. So now I am dealing with your passing just a little more deeply...but maybe not. Maybe it is just a process and this is just a step in time. I just don't know. Only time will tell but know that I will never let you down, Brandon. Never let your life be forgotten by our family and friends and though we don't hear from them often anymore, I know that they miss you too and they continue to love you and for that, it makes me smile.
The scholarship is growing, Brandon, and I am so proud of that. We have worked hard on it and I always will. This is the 4th recipient...can you believe it has been 4 years? So many great young people have been nominated for it and it has been so hard to chose which one each year. I wish I could give each one a scholarship in your honor for they all deserve it. This year was especially going to be hard for the candidates are so good and then Dad and I received the essays and we were reading them and it was getting harder and harder to choose until I read the last one. Why was that one last? I truely believe everything happens for a reason...I believe that with my whole heart and so I believe that last essay was put in that order for a reason...that reason being I had to read them all and know they were all good but that the last one was the GREAT one...the one I would chose above all the others. So, though this year had probably the best candidates to choose from, only one would stand out above all the rest. You know which one, don't you? I am so very pleased with our choice and I know you are too.
Well, today is your birthday, Angel. How will I celebrate it? Dad and I have a little something in mind so look for it, okay? 25 years ago...Wow!!! What an amazing man you would be right now. You would be married...Shannon and you had already chosen the date and I honestly feel that you would probably be a dad or well on the way to being one now. What an amazing dad you would have been. I wonder what you would have named your babies. Cosmo???(a little inside joke, right?)
I am sad today...that is understandable...but I also feel a peace about me today and I just know it is your Angel wings wrapped around me, keeping me safe, keeping me smiling, giving me the faith and the love I need to handle this gut-wrenching grief I am feeling. So on your birthday, Angel, your 25th birthday...you are giving me a gift. I am not surprised. That is the kind of man you are.
It's been awhile.... / Brandi Grafer (high school sweetheart )Read >>
It's been awhile.... / Brandi Grafer (high school sweetheart )
So, it's been awhile since I've been on the site. Not for any reason in particular, maybe because it just got too hard. Yet, I am tonight and that's because of last night. Last night I had a dream and you were there. It hasn't happened in awhile and I'm not sure why, but it doesn't really matter. You were there like you used to be with that big goofy ass smile and I couldn't help it. I rememeber the dream like it was frames in a movie. You were sitting right next to me and smiled. I smiled and laughed and didn't know what to do. I knew that you weren't here anymore, but I was so happy to see you. You had this look in your eye like you knew exactly what I was thinking without me having to say a word. (Which by the way NEVER happened in our relationship lol). Anyway, I "walked" away (in the dream) to compose myself and I came back and you were sitting on a bench with your back to me.....Then I woke up. Tears dripping and the feeling of crying that I was doing during my sleep, I couldn't help biut smile just like I did in my dream. You came to me like you used to do all the time. Maybe b/c I've talked to Em and you know I am there for her, maybe b/c work has been horrible and I needed your support, maybe b/c you thought it had been "awhile" too. Not sure, but doesn't matter. The joy and excitement that I felt when I saw you, even in just a dream, was enough to bring me back to where I need to be.
So, thank you once again you jerk... for doing the right thing, even though I HATED that! :) You always know when someone is at their breaking point and when to give them support. I wish I could be more like you, even though I can only see you in my dreams.
So congratulations Bubby on becoming an uncle! Oh how I wish you were here right now. You know you would have been the first person I would have told just like I was the first person you told when you wanted to propose to Shannon. You know I dreamt of this day and yet have feared this day for 3 and a half years. The day where I would have children of my own. I feared this day becasue they wouldn't have an uncle to hug or kiss. They wouldn't have an uncle to teach them how to play sports cause Lord knows you were the best at every sport. They wouldn't have an uncle to teach them the things that I just cant. I don't even know where to start on telling my baby about you. What if I leave out really important stuff that I just can't remember or have forgotten?? I'm so excited to have the baby but yet so scared. You were suppose to be here when I have children, when I graduate from college, when I get engaged, when I get married. You were suppose to be here for all of this. And I know so many people say it was your time to go, but sometimes I just don't feel that way one bit. You were so young and so full of life. You were really going places in your life. You were one of those men that took advantage of every second of every day. You were the definition of a Go-Getter. I think God made a mistake when he took you away from us. He must have gotten you mixed up with someone else. He had to have. I just want my baby to know you. I mean really really know you. I want the baby to know the ends and outs of their uncle and I'm just so afraid I won't know how to do this. So you have to help me okay? you have to somehow help me remember the little things that I might have forgotten. Cause I won't be able to do this on my own. And I know I'll have Katie and Mom and Dad to help me with this. But you're the person I need the most when telling them about their uncle. So You have to promise me that you'll help me remember. And I will promise you that ALL of my children will know their uncle. They will know everything they possibly could know about you.
Okay so I just have one more thing to say before I end this...well a very important question to ask you. If Sean and I have a little boy, is it alright if I name him after you??? I mean I know he'll have so much to live up to cause you were and still are one of a kind. But I would love to name the baby after you, in your honor. And do you think mom and dad would be okay with that too??Okay, well you think about it and let me know somehow if that will be all right with you.
Even though you are no longer here with us in person, I know you are always with us in spirt, heart and mind. And I know you will be there the day the baby is born. And I pray that whether it is a boy or a girl, that they somehow look like you just a little. Anyways, I love you Brandon more that anyone could possibly know. I love you more than I love anyone else. I love you more than life itself. You're were and are the hero, the role model, the man in my life. And even though it was short, it was and will always be the best years of my life because I got to spend them with you. Good night Bubby. Oh and please give mama morrison, mama killingsworth and papa killingsworth hugs and kisses for me.
Love always and forever your biggest fan, your baby sis
Thinking of you / Jo-Ann Pacenta Mom Of Angel Lauren (Connected by angels )Read >>
Thinking of you / Jo-Ann Pacenta Mom Of Angel Lauren (Connected by angels ) Close
Thinking of Your Family / Laurie Wegner (friend at LRC )Read >>
Thinking of Your Family / Laurie Wegner (friend at LRC )
Hi Mr. and Mrs. K,
My name is Laurie Wegner and I work in Admissions at LRC. For the past two weeks, I have been leading prospective faculty candidates on campus tours. Each time I walk out the front door of the Admissions Office, I think of your Brandon when I see the plaque with his name on it. It causes me to smile as I remember him sitting in "his" chair in our office waiting to take his group on tour. I'd walk by him and say, "What's 'up, BK" and he'd smile his famous smile and say "Nothin' much!" Your son was quite a young man and I wanted you to know that every time I have walked past his memorial plaque, I have thought of you and the sense of loss we are all still feeling without him. Please know that I share in the loss of "our" BK. Thank you for loaning him to us for such a short time.
Thinking Of You / Janeane Bricker (I lost my Brandon Lee too )
Thinking of you Brandon and your family always. You will always be loved and missed until we are all together again. www.brandon-bricker.memory-of.com Close
Brandon/ Susan~Kurt (connected by loving angels )Read >>
Thinking of you / Jo-Ann Pacenta Lauren's Mom (Connected by our angels )Read >>
Thinking of you / Jo-Ann Pacenta Lauren's Mom (Connected by our angels ) Close
Missing you & loving you always and forever / Mom Read >>
Missing you & loving you always and forever / Mom
3 years today my "happy" life ended and I miss you so much, more than anyone could ever know. However, I know you are happy, you are watching over those of us who knew and loved you dearly and anxiously awaiting the day when we get the privilege to enter Heaven's doors.
Baby, I never knew a young man with more compassion, more love, and yes, more fun than you. I am so very proud to tell people all about you and though I will always have tears in my eyes they are the tears of a very proud mama.
On this day and forever more I will remember you I will miss you and I will always, always cherish you.
Missing you / Brandi Grafer
Missing you today Close
Sending love to Shannon on her birthday / Mom Read >>
Sending love to Shannon on her birthday / Mom
November 19, 2007
Hello Angel
I know today is Shannon's birthday and she continues to be in my heart each and every day even though I haven't talked to her in such a long time. She will always hold a special place in my heart as she held one in yours as well. Watch over her, baby, keep her safe and let her feel the love that we all have for her.
Happy Thanksgiving / Susan Stoner (connected by angels )Read >>
Happy Thanksgiving / Susan Stoner (connected by angels )
Thank you so much for stopping by my angel Kurt's site and lighting a candle for him. I have added your precious Brandon to my angel list. I am so sorry for your loss. I am here for you anytime you need me. God Bless you and your family. ((HUGS)) Susan
Hey Angel. It has been some time since I have written on your website. I don’t really have the answers why but you know that you are the foremost thought in my mind and in my heart each and every waking moment of my day. I just wish and prayer that it wasn’t this way, but God has his reasons and we shouldn’t ever question or judge him though it can be hard. I know that you are with Him and for that, I can have peace.
It has been a tough fall down here for the family. Katie and Emily have struggled to move on, to make their own decisions and to live their own lives and I know it is hard for them. For so long they had their big brother to lead the way and now they are forging their own territory and it is so hard on them. I want to just take over, to make their decisions, to pave their way but that is not is right. I am here for them any time of the day or night, but I also have to step back and let them go and that is hard. I know they will succeed for they are Killingsworths and they have their guardian Angel always watching over them. They are such blessings in my life and I am so proud of them as I know you are.
The 5K was such a success, baby. I was so proud of all that came about and I must admit, I was proud of myself for doing such a good job. I had great friends and great support and of course, I had your dad and sisters there so how could I not succeed. However, after it was all over the realization of what we were celebrating came back and I was again struck with such sadness. I was told over and over, that people could feel your presence all around and that is so true. You truly are an Angel and oh, how proud I am of you. I just hope that you can be as proud of me for what I am doing. I do everything in memory and honor of you, Angel.
Well, the anniversary of your Angel date is fast approaching and I don’t know what to do. I used to love the fall and all the holidays that come with it but it just is such a sad time now. I will honor you and cherish you forever, baby, but I have to ask for strength from you and from our Heavenly Father to help me through this time. It is so hard and I miss you so, so very much. You are my Angel, you are my baby boy and I will forever keep your memory and your life alive for all to know and for all to remember.
Thinking Of Brandon / Donna -Corey's Mom (A Grieving Mom )Read >>
Thinking Of Brandon / Donna -Corey's Mom (A Grieving Mom )
I never had the priviledge of knowing Brandon but have come to learn of his life through his mom who was able to reach out through her own pain and grief to write words of comfort in my son Corey and his bride Michelle's guestbook on their memorial site. Both my son and Brandon were born in 1983, and less than a month apart. Brandon's birthday (May 18) happens to be the day that my son and his bride got married, on May 18, 2003. They were so in love and so very, very happy. Little did anyone know that day, but less than 3 months later, they would both be killed in a horrific auto accident in an unmarked, unposted, deteriorated construction zone in AZ, where Corey was living, because he was in the Air Force and stationed in Tucson, AZ. Corey and Brandon lost their lives 8 months apart. Born less than a month apart and killed in auto accidents less than 8 month apart. I sure hope that Corey, Michelle and Brandon have met in Heaven and are good friends. I like to think our children guide each of us into each others lives for comfort. My deepest and heartfelt sympathy and understanding that only another grieving parent can have, for all your pain and heartache. I will keep Brandon and your family in my prayers. Thank you again, so very much for writing in Corey and Michelle's guestbook. I know that you understand when I say how much it means to our family to have Corey and Michelle thought of!!
Hugs, Donna-Corey's Mom www.coreyandmichelle.com www.mem.com www.christianmemorials.com In Loving Memory of Corey & Michelle James 8/17/2003
BK5K/ Sean Click (Future Bro-in-law )
Hey Buddy, Today was so amazing, to see everybody at your race, ther was such a huge turn out, so many people loved you. Your parents are amazing people. I will be so proud to have them as in-laws. I promise next year Em and I will be in that race to run for you. Goodnight Buddy. Close
Tributes and Condolences
Love Matt's mom 
You are so loved and so missed Matt's Mom 
